


jake dillinger isn't gay

by bunnyguro



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Ned Vizinni
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Slow Burn, i love my slow burns ok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2018-12-27 10:26:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12079203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnyguro/pseuds/bunnyguro
Summary: In which Jake Dillinger crushes on the adorable Richard Goranski all throughout Freshman year, and attempts to talk to him the best he can, but gets utterly confused the moment that Rich begins to act stranger, weirder and different. He dresses differently, he walks differently and talks differently, his lisp seemingly disappearing. What happened?





	1. old//chapter 1

Jake Dillinger was definitely not hardcore crushing on the cute and nerdy short guy whose locker was right next to his. No, he wasn’t! He wasn’t because Jake Dillinger was definitely straight, and not totally fixated by how fidgety and adorable he was, and definitely did not think about what the other’s lips would feel like against his own, and definitely did not stop for moments at a time to appreciate the freckles that lined his entire body, or the red streak that ran through the middle of his hair, or the little tooth gap he had. No, he was not thinking that, not at all.

How did Jake even end up getting his locker placed next to some (cute) nerd like him? Well, the hallways were lined with the lockers, and there was a tiny water fountain that was slightly away from the end of the hallway. Next to that tiny water fountain were only two whole lockers, and those two lockers were assigned to him and Richard Goranski (Jake definitely only knew his name because they shared a homeroom, and not because he wanted so badly to learn it).

Anyways, cut to lunch, Jake was looking in his locker, reaching into his bag in order to grab the money he had placed in there to purchase food at the cafeteria. He was honestly having a really hard time finding it. As he struggled to discover the money he had brought along with him, he was interrupted by a quiet and lispy voice.

“E-th-cu-th-e me.” He was definitely not thinking about how cute that voice was. Okay, he was thinking that, but he was thinking that in a puppy cute way-not in a “damn, I really wanna hold you and kiss your face all over and listen to you talk the rest of my life” way. Definitely not.

Jake finally found the five dollar bill that was hiding at the bottom of his bag, grabbing it and closing his locker. He looked down towards who said that. There, he saw Richard. Shit, he hadn’t even realized he had a lisp, but he did recognize the voice. That was, kinda really adorable. That’s a normal thing to say about another guy, right?

“Oh, sorry little dude.” was Jake’s reaction to him. He shot Richard a small smile, and he swore he could notice a very flustered expression cross his face (although, he couldn’t really tell. Jake wasn’t the best at recognizing people’s emotion). Richard looked up at him, returning to small grin. He swore that it wasn’t the smile that made Jake’s stomach feel all weird and fluttery, it was just-the lack of food in his stomach! Yeah, that’s it.

Jake held out a hand. He realized he hadn’t actually introduced himself to Richard (he totally wanted to though), so now should be a quality time to do so.

“I’m Jake Dillinger; I don’t think we’ve really met before.” Richard took a moment, looking from Jake’s face, to his hand, back to his face, back to his hand. It took a few seconds before he decided he wanted to shake the other’s hand back.

“I’m Rich.” he spoke, louder and slightly more confident than he was before.

“Rich?” Jake questioned, turning his head to the side. “Haha, what a stellar nickname!” he mentally slapped himself on the forehead. Who the hell uses the word stellar anyways? Well, Jake supposed he somehow won the other over, because he could see Rich widely smiling up at him.

“Thanks.” he spoke carefully, seemingly trying to avoid letting his lisp show. A little disappointing to Jake, because his speech impediment was honestly quite endearing, and he really did like it. Truthfully, he would love to sit with Rich and listen to him speak nonsense to him all day. He definitely did not have a crush on him though, definitely not.

“No problem.” he said, then bringing his wrist up to look at the time. Shit, the football team expected him in the cafeteria ten minutes ago, damn money getting buried in his bag! Damn Rich for being stupidly adorable! “I gotta blast, but uh-I’ll see you later.” As Jake walked away, phone and money in hand, he turned to see Rich do a small and shy wave to him. 

“Uh-Um-Yeah. I’ll see you later.” Jake heard, before he turned the corner and headed down the stairs towards the cafeteria. Although that was a good time getting to actually meet Richard, the football guys were going to be fucking pissed at him. He quickened his pace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> constructive criticism and comments in general are super appreciated !! ♥
> 
> fanfic requests for ships are open !! bmc and deh only !! ♥
> 
> my tumblr is priince-mason ♥


	2. old//chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rich's pov, and him thinking about how gay he is for the amazing jake dillinger

Had Jake Dillinger ACTUALLY talked to him? C’mon Goranski, you had to be dreaming, right? There was honestly no way that Jake had talked to you, that’s just not possible! Holy fuck, if that wasn’t a dream though, that was so much better than he expected. A lot of people have said that Jake isn’t exactly like the other football players (who always tormented him and told him shit that he already knew about himself, like his lisp, or his stupid looking freckles, or his tooth gap, basically everything terrible about himself), and they were right. Jake Dillinger seemed generally super friendly, super nice, and uh...Super pretty.

Rich had already come to terms with the fact that both guys and girls were appealing (labeling himself as bi), but holy fuck, Jake Dillinger was on a whole new level. He’s tall, has a great body, his face is just so nice looking, his hair looks so soft and fluffy, and God, his lips just look so damn soft. Rich wished in that two minute interaction, Jake had just grabbed his wrists and held him against his locker and whispered sweet nothings into his ear and trailed kisses down his face and neck and-

“Move aside, shorty.” scoffed a senior, knocking Rich’s books out of his hands and dragging him out of his fantasy before it could could escalate any further. Rich puffed out his cheeks, his face going red from embarrassment. He crouched down, gathering his books into his hand, hurrying over to the cafeteria. 

Hopefully he stalled long enough, so that the football guys would’ve left, and he could get his lunch in peace. Rich quickened his pace, he had 10 minutes till lunch was over. This was normal though, stall in the bathroom for as long as possible, hurry to the cafeteria, buy lunch, eat in the bathroom quickly, then go to class. Number one thing was to avoid all social interaction (other than that little one with Jake Dillinger, because that one was enjoyable).

His head was down, and he was thinking about what he had to do after school (go to his English tutor, avoid dad, grab food, do homework, listen to music, play video games, sleep, repeat), when he suddenly ran into someone, the other person grabbing Rich’s shoulders immediately. At this point, he was very terrified, because he was grabbed by someone.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” he spluttered out quickly, not even trying to hide his lisp like he usually attempted. When he looked up, he saw Jake Dillinger was the one he bumped into, and his face had immediately flushed. Jake held Rich’s shoulders a bit, seemingly trying to steady Rich (who was stumbling a bit) then smiled.

“We meet again Rich. And it’s cool dude, it happens.” he shrugged. Fuck, Jake was just so damn cool, and he so badly wanted to be just like him, to be friends with him, to kis-okay, none of those would ever happen.

“Sorry again.” he muttered, rubbing his arm and looking down a bit. He heard Jake give him a small chuckle. Fuck, was he being made fun of? Of course he was, why wouldn’t he be? He was Richard Goranski after all, the short queer kid with a gross ass lisp.

“Like I said before, it’s chill.” Jake spoke, still smiling his super pretty, super radiant smile at him. God, Rich did not deserve that smile at all. “Hey, I wanted to just know what class you have next?”

Wait, did Jake Dillinger want to actually know something about him? Like, 100% wanted to? Okay Rich, don’t get ahead of yourself. It’s literally just him asking about your classes, it’s not like he’s asking if you want to date him (which he would totally say yes to). 

“Oh, I have uh..” he took a moment to think, “I have Sc-” he was having a bit of trouble pronouncing that. Oh fuck yeah, isn’t that just great? The answer to Jake’s question started with an S, of fucking course! “Science, I have that.” he spoke really quickly. Jake’s smile seemed to widen at Rich’s response, which obviously made all the butterflies in his stomach race around wildly.

“Oh shit man, I have Science too!” he laughed, shoving his hands in his pockets. “That’s pretty baller, but I gotta leave. The guy’s are waiting for me. I’ll see you later?” 

“Y-Yeah! Later J-Jake.” he stumbled over his words, perhaps getting too excited. As Jake walked away, he mentally slapped himself across the face. Damnit Goranski, it was way too early for you to already be calling him by his name! Rich took a glance at his phone and-SHIT, he had 5 minutes to grab lunch and devour it as quick as possible. Rich rushed towards the cafeteria, trying his best to go and grab the food he needed in his stomach right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damnit rich, you're being very Spicy rn  
> hopefully i can update everyday ? that's kinda my goal but i have a feeling that may not always happen, lol. i can try my best though! i've been practicing writing lately. ♥
> 
> constructive criticism and comments in general are super appreciated !! ♥
> 
> fanfic requests for ships are open !! bmc and deh only !! ♥
> 
> my tumblr is priince-mason ♥


	3. old//chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically i project onto rich hardcore  
> also rich gets super excited to do a science project with jake dillinger

Turns out that Jake never realized Rich was in his Tuesday science class because the other tended to sit in the back right of classroom, which was on the other side of the classroom of where he himself usually sat (the top left). Jake came into the class a little late, cursing himself because his grades were already dropping, and this teacher tended to lower grades for being late. He profusely apologized to Mr. Mac, then turned around to take a seat. Shit, some kid took his regular seat (did he not know about the unspoken seating chart?), so that means some random person was going to get him sitting next to them.

Looking around, Jake couldn’t find an open area until his eyes scanned over that little spot in the back right of the classroom, right next to Richard Goranski. Poor kid, looks like no one wanted to sit next to him (Jake couldn’t understand why though, he seemed like an enjoyable person!). Jake made his way down the class, hanging his backpack on the back of the chair and sat down next to Rich, who made a startled noise in response.

“Hey Rich, looks like me and you are gonna be lab partners today!” Jake said, giving Rich a tiny smile. The other returned it, making Jake feel all kind of emotions. Not gay ones, no, not at all.

“Cool.” was all Rich said, and he went back to scribbling a few doodles on his notebook, seemingly not paying attention to Mr. Mac. 

Jake peered over Rich’s shoulder, his head nearly resting onto it. God, he wish he could just lay his head against Rich, it seemed like it would just piece together so well. Wait, damnit Jake, that was a really gay thing to think. 

“Mind if I watch?” he asked quietly, tilting his head. Rich just shrugged, continuing his doodles. Jake could see the other was drawing a page just full of lizards. They weren’t particularly good though, they looked pretty childish, like a grade 1 had made them. He chuckled quietly. “You sure like lizards.”

“Dillinger, Goranski…” the teacher scolded, making both boys lift their heads. Jake turned a bit, leaning his chin on his fist, elbow on the table. Okay Jake, you are kinda failing this class, so pay attention. He opened his notebook, beginning to write down notes to what Mr. Mac was lecturing about. After a while, Jake started to zone out, just staring at what Rich was drawing, until the other had stopped and turned the page, looking at him.

“So for the project, I think we s-should do Venus!” Rich said, a bit of excitement tracing his voice. Jake sat up, tilting his head to the side in confusion.  
“Huh..What are we doing? I like, totally zoned out.” Rich rubbed his neck.

“Mr. Mac wants us to make a poster board thingy thing.” Jake snickered at Rich’s loss of words. That was adorable, like, really adorable. “We also have to make a miniature model of the spaceship we’re designing so it can withstand the properties of the planet we choose! I think it would be really cool if we did the planet Venus, because Venus has like this thing on it where it rains acid and that’s super fucking cool! I also just think that designing a ship for Venus would just be awesome in general and-” Rich looked at Jake, widening his eyes a bit, then looking down and folding his hands together, twiddling his thumbs. Just a few seconds ago, Rich had seemed super excited about this whole thing, he was just practically bouncing out of his seat, why’d he suddenly stop? Jake was wondering a lot about this, he actually wanted to know more about what he wanted to do. “Sorry, you probably thinking my rambling is annoyi-”

“No!” Jake blurted out on instinct. Wow Jake, you just totally lost your cool there for a second, redeem yourself damnit. “Keep talking, I wanna know more.” he smiled at Rich, and the other responded with a flustered expression and a shy smile. God, that smile made Jake feel like nothing in the world mattered except for Rich. Oh shit, that was another gay thought. Dillinger, what the hell? Jake is not gay. He likes chicks, not tiny short guys with..Adorable faces and cute lisps- He was saying he was adorable and cute as a compliment because even when you’re straight, you can admire other people’s looks and speaking quirks! He just wasn’t gay, okay?

“Venus is super cool and it’s like, one of my favourite planets! I think we should try to do the ship a-as soon as we can after we do a lot of p-planning and stuff, but it’ll take a while s-so uh.” Rich was stuttering a bit again, which as always, was fucking adorable and Jake loved it. He loved the other’s speaking quirks, they were just super endearing. “Maybe we can work after school sometime to work on the project…?” Rich asked, his eyes turning down to his hands. “I mean, I completely get if it’s too early for me to ask you that because we kinda just met and you probably don’t like me, because a lot of people don’t like me because I talk too much and it’s kinda annoying paired with my lisp and you probably don’t wanna do any of the work but I was kinda hopingthatyouwouldwannalikehangoutorsomething.” he winced “Pleasedon’tmakefunofme.” he spoke quietly.

Jake blinked twice. Oh shit, was Rich asking to hang out and do homework? Oh fuck yeah, he’d love to. “Yeah, sure. Is tonight okay? My uh...My parents aren’t home so we could work at my house.” Rich looked up, a little glimmer of hope in his eyes. He started wagging his feet around like how a dog wags its tail, his legs bouncing at the same time. 

“Yeah! Yeah, that’d be cool. Uhm, uh-meet you at our l-lockers?” he asked, the bell ringing right after the question. Jake nodded, packing his things into his back quickly. 

“Awesome. I’ll see you after class Richie.” he smiled, Rich’s face turning a dark red as the shorter one quickly walked away and to his next class. Oh God, Rich was super cool and super sweet and Jake just wanted to talk to him all day. He just had to survive through Math class, and then he’d have a science project to work on with Rich Goranski.


	4. UPDATE

hi it is the author boys  
anyways im here to say yay im actually?? gonna try to update this!! LOL but i didnt really like how i wrote the first three chapters so.....................................................yeah here we go im coming at you with a rewrite and it's gonna be actually good this time ok bye


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